May Whole EBS program

Friday May 2nd 2025 Native 122

ํ•˜๋Š˜์„ ๋‚˜๋Š” ๋‹ฅํ„ฐ ๊ณ ์•„์› ์งฑ 2025. 5. 2. 08:40

2002 ์ฒœ์‚ฌ๋‹˜๋“ค~~๐Ÿงก~~

์˜์–ด๋กœ ์ถฉ๋ถ„ํžˆ ํ–‰๋ณตํ•ด์ง€๋Š” ์‹œ๊ฐ„ 5์›” ๊ฐ์‚ฌํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค~ https://youtube.com/shorts/L1WJcDY_j6c?feature=share

02 Clean the table. ์‹ํƒ์„ ์ •๋ฆฌํ•ด ์ฃผ์„ธ์š”.

02 Kids love making stuff. ์•„์ด๋“ค์€ ๋ญ”๊ฐ€ ๋งŒ๋“œ๋Š” ๊ฑฐ ์ง„์งœ ์ข‹์•„ํ•˜์ž–์•„. 

02 The Family Business: You Have Your Work Cut Out for You ๊ฐ€์กฑ ์‚ฌ์—…: ๋„ˆ์—๊ฒŒ ํž˜๋“  ์ผ์ด ์‚ฐ๋”๋ฏธ์•ผ

02 Personal Counseling ๊ฐœ์ธ ์ƒ๋‹ด์˜ ๊ฒฝํ—˜ 

02 Warning Signs of Gaslighting in Relationships ์ธ๊ฐ„๊ด€๊ณ„์—์„œ ๊ฐ€์Šค๋ผ์ดํŒ…์˜ ๊ฒฝ๊ณ  ์‹ ํ˜ธ๋“ค 

 

Start English 25.05.02 Clean the table. ์‹ํƒ์„ ์ •๋ฆฌํ•ด ์ฃผ์„ธ์š”.

A : The table is messy. Clean the table.

์‹ํƒ์ด ๋„ˆ์ €๋ถ„ํ•˜๋„ค. ์‹ํƒ ์ข€ ์ •๋ฆฌํ•ด ์ค˜.

โ€‹

* ๋ช…์‚ฌ + is messy. : ~๊ฐ€ ๋„ˆ์ €๋ถ„ํ•ด์š”.

โ€‹

B : Right now?

์ง€๊ธˆ ๋‹น์žฅ์ด์š”?

โ€‹

A : Yes, right now.

์‘, ์ง€๊ธˆ ๋‹น์žฅ.

โ€‹

Easy English 25.05.02 Kids love making stuff. ์•„์ด๋“ค์€ ๋ญ”๊ฐ€ ๋งŒ๋“œ๋Š” ๊ฑฐ ์ง„์งœ ์ข‹์•„ํ•˜์ž–์•„. 

Ken : I need to get a gift for my niece. Any ideas?

์กฐ์นด์—๊ฒŒ ์ค„ ์„ ๋ฌผ์„ ์‚ฌ์•ผ ํ•˜๋Š”๋ฐ. ๋ญ๊ฐ€ ์ข‹์„๊นŒ?

โ€‹

* niece : ์กฐ์นด๋”ธ, ์—ฌ์ž ์กฐ์นด

โ€‹

Taylor : How old is she?

๋ช‡ ์‚ด์ธ๋ฐ?

โ€‹

Ken : She's seven. Loves drawing and crafts.

์ผ๊ณฑ ์‚ด์ด์•ผ. ๊ทธ๋ฆผ ๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ๊ฑฐ๋ž‘ ๋ญ ๋งŒ๋“œ๋Š” ๊ฑธ ์•„์ฃผ ์ข‹์•„ํ•ด.

โ€‹

* drawing : ๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ธฐ, ๊ทธ๋ฆผ ๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ๊ฒƒ

* craft : ๊ณต์˜ˆ, ์†์œผ๋กœ ๊ฐ„๋‹จํžˆ ๋งŒ๋“œ๋Š” ๊ฒƒ

โ€‹

Taylor : Maybe a DIY art set? Kids love making stuff.

๊ทธ๋Ÿผ DIY ๋ฏธ์ˆ  ๋„๊ตฌ ์„ธํŠธ๋Š” ์–ด๋–จ๊นŒ? ์•„์ด๋“ค์€ ๋ญ”๊ฐ€ ๋งŒ๋“œ๋Š” ๊ฑฐ ์ง„์งœ ์ข‹์•„ํ•˜์ž–์•„.

โ€‹

* DIY : ์Šค์Šค๋กœ ๋งŒ๋“ค๊ธฐ

โ€‹

Ken : That's perfect! I'll grab one after work.

๊ทธ๊ฑฐ ๋”ฑ์ธ๋ฐ! ์ผ ๋๋‚˜๊ณ  ํ•˜๋‚˜ ์‚ฌ ๊ฐ€์•ผ๊ฒ ๋‹ค.

โ€‹

* grab : ์–ผ๋ฅธ ํ•˜๋‚˜ ์‚ฌ๋‹ค


 

 

Power English 25.05.02 The Family Business: You Have Your Work Cut Out for You ๊ฐ€์กฑ ์‚ฌ์—…: ๋„ˆ์—๊ฒŒ ํž˜๋“  ์ผ์ด ์‚ฐ๋”๋ฏธ์•ผ

Kiara : Are you excited to finally run the family restaurant?

๋“œ๋””์–ด ๊ฐ€์กฑ ์‹๋‹น์„ ์šด์˜ํ•˜๊ฒŒ ๋˜์–ด ์‹ ๋‚˜๋‹ˆ?

โ€‹

Milo : I'm more excited for you and Dad to finally get to travel.

์—„๋งˆ๋ž‘ ์•„๋น ๊ฐ€ ๋“œ๋””์–ด ์—ฌํ–‰์„ ๋– ๋‚˜๊ฒŒ ๋œ๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒŒ ๋” ๊ธฐ๋ป์š”.

โ€‹

Kiara : Well, you have your work cut out for you. It isn't just about smiling and serving food and drinks. It's very demanding.

์Œ, ํž˜์— ๊ฒจ์šธ ๊ฑฐ์•ผ. ๊ทธ๋ƒฅ ์›ƒ์œผ๋ฉฐ ์Œ์‹๊ณผ ์Œ๋ฃŒ๋ฅผ ์„œ๋น™ํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒŒ ์ „๋ถ€๊ฐ€ ์•„๋‹ˆ๋ž€๋‹ค. ์ •๋ง ๋งŒ๋งŒ์ฐฎ์€ ์ผ์ด์ง€.

โ€‹

* have one's work cut out for one : ํž˜๋“  ์ผ์ด ๊ธฐ๋‹ค๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ์žˆ๋‹ค, ์–ด๋ ค์šด ๊ณผ์ œ๋ฅผ ์•ž๋‘๊ณ  ์žˆ๋‹ค

* demanding : ๋ถ€๋‹ด์ด ํฐ, ํž˜๋“ 

โ€‹

Milo : I've worked here since I was 14, and l've done every job in the restaurant.

์ „ ์—ด๋„ค ์‚ด ๋•Œ๋ถ€ํ„ฐ ์—ฌ๊ธฐ์„œ ์ผํ–ˆ๊ณ  ์‹๋‹น์˜ ๋ชจ๋“  ์ผ์„ ๋‹ค ํ•ด ๋ดค์–ด์š”.

โ€‹

Kiara : Working here is one thing, but being the one who calls the shots is another thing.

์—ฌ๊ธฐ์„œ ์ผํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ๊ณผ ๊ฒฐ์ •๊ถŒ์ž๊ฐ€ ๋˜๋Š” ๊ฑด ๋ณ„๊ฐœ์˜ ๋ฌธ์ œ์•ผ.

โ€‹

* ~ is one thing, but... is another (thing) : ~์™€…๋Š” ๋ณ„๊ฐœ์˜ ๋ฌธ์ œ์•ผ

Saying sorry is one thing, but changing is another.    ๐Ÿ‘‰ ๋ฏธ์•ˆํ•˜๋‹ค๊ณ  ๋งํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฑด ํ•œ ๊ฐ€์ง€๊ณ , ๋ฐ”๋€Œ๋Š” ๊ฑด ๋˜ ๋‹ค๋ฅธ ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐ์•ผ.

Knowing is one thing, but explaining is another.         ๐Ÿ‘‰ ์•„๋Š” ๊ฒƒ๊ณผ ์„ค๋ช…ํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฑด ๋ณ„๊ฐœ์˜ ๋ฌธ์ œ์•ผ. (์ •ํ™•ํ•˜๊ณ  ์ž์—ฐ์Šค๋Ÿฌ์›Œ์š”!)

Learning English is one thing, but using it every day is another.

Making a promise is one thing, but keeping it is another.

 

* call the shots : ์ง€ํœ˜ํ•˜๋‹ค, ์ฃผ๋„๊ถŒ์„ ์žก๋‹ค, ๊ฒฐ์ •๊ถŒ์ด ์žˆ๋‹ค

โ€‹In our team, she calls the shots.    ๐Ÿ‘‰ ์šฐ๋ฆฌ ํŒ€์—์„œ๋Š” ๊ทธ๋…€๊ฐ€ ๊ฒฐ์ •ํ•ด.

Mom always calls the shots at home.    ๐Ÿ‘‰ ์ง‘์—์„œ๋Š” ํ•ญ์ƒ ์—„๋งˆ๊ฐ€ ๊ฒฐ์ •ํ•ด.

In our group, I call the shots!

 

Milo : Don't worry, we've got a month to make sure I'm not in over my head.

๊ฑฑ์ • ๋งˆ์„ธ์š”, ์ œ๊ฐ€ ๊ฐ๋‹นํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฑธ ํ™•์ธํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋Š” ํ•œ ๋‹ฌ์˜ ์‹œ๊ฐ„์ด ์žˆ์œผ๋‹ˆ๊นŒ์š”.

โ€‹

* in over one's head : ๊ฐ๋‹น ๋ชป ํ•˜๋Š”, ํž˜์— ๋ฒ…์ฐฌ

I was in over my head on my first day at work.   ๐Ÿ‘‰ ์ฒซ ์ถœ๊ทผ ๋‚ ์— ๋‚˜๋Š” ๊ฐ๋‹น์ด ์•ˆ ๋์–ด.

She’s in over her head with all these projects.   ๐Ÿ‘‰ ๊ทธ๋…€๋Š” ์ด ๋ชจ๋“  ํ”„๋กœ์ ํŠธ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์— ๋„ˆ๋ฌด ๋ฒ…์ฐจ ์žˆ์–ด.

Don’t ask him to fix it. He’s already in over his head.  ๐Ÿ‘‰ ๊ฑ”ํ•œํ…Œ ๊ณ ์น˜๋ผ๊ณ  ํ•˜์ง€ ๋งˆ. ์ด๋ฏธ ๊ฐ๋‹น ๋ชป ํ•˜๊ณ  ์žˆ์–ด.

์ž…์ดํŠธ์ด๋Š”์˜์–ด 25.05.02 Personal Counseling ๊ฐœ์ธ ์ƒ๋‹ด์˜ ๊ฒฝํ—˜ 

I have received personal counseling on three occasions.

๋‚˜๋Š” ์„ธ ๋ฒˆ์˜ ๊ฐœ์ธ ์ƒ๋‹ด์„ ๋ฐ›์€ ๊ฒฝํ—˜์ด ์žˆ๋‹ค.

โ€‹

โ€‹* on three occasions : ์„ธ ๋ฒˆ

โ€‹

The first two were sessions I received free of charge during college.

์ฒ˜์Œ ๋‘ ๋ฒˆ์€ ๋Œ€ํ•™์ƒ ๋•Œ ๋ฌด๋ฃŒ๋กœ ๋ฐ›์•˜๊ณ ,

โ€‹

* receive free of charge : ๋ฌด๋ฃŒ๋กœ ๋ฐ›๋‹ค

โ€‹

The third is a paid session that I am currently attending at a private counseling center.

์„ธ ๋ฒˆ์งธ๋Š” ํ˜„์žฌ ๊ฐœ์ธ ์ƒ๋‹ด ์„ผํ„ฐ๋ฅผ ๋‹ค๋‹ˆ๋ฉฐ ์œ ๋ฃŒ๋กœ ๋ฐ›๋Š” ์ค‘์ด๋‹ค.

โ€‹

Through the first two counseling sessions, I was able to identify the reasons why I was feeling depressed.

์ฒ˜์Œ ๋‘ ๋ฒˆ์˜ ์ƒ๋‹ด์„ ํ†ตํ•ด์„œ๋Š” ๋‚ด๊ฐ€ ์šฐ์šธํ•œ ์ด์œ ๋ฅผ ๋ฐœ๊ฒฌํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์—ˆ๋‹ค.

โ€‹

โ€‹* identify the reasons : ์›์ธ์„ ํŒŒ์•…ํ•˜๋‹ค

โ€‹* feel depressed : ๊ธฐ๋ถ„์ด ์šฐ์šธํ•˜๋‹ค

โ€‹

I had a tendency to think good things were due to external factors while blaming myself for bad things.

๋‚˜๋Š” ์ข‹์€ ์ผ์€ ์™ธ๋ถ€ ์š”์ธ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์ด๋ผ๊ณ  ์ƒ๊ฐํ•˜๊ณ , ๋‚˜์œ ์ผ์€ ๋‚˜์˜ ํƒ“์ด๋ผ๊ณ  ์ž์ฑ…ํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒฝํ–ฅ์ด ์žˆ์—ˆ๋‹ค.

โ€‹

* have a tendency to : ~ํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒฝํ–ฅ์ด ์žˆ๋‹ค

โ€‹* due to external factors : ์™ธ๋ถ€ ์š”์ธ์— ์˜ํ•ด

โ€‹* blame oneself for : ~์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์ž์ฒตํ•˜๋‹ค

โ€‹

Recognizing and reflecting on this cognitive distortion helped me overcome my depression.

์ด๋Ÿฌํ•œ ์ธ์ง€์ ์ธ ์˜ค๋ฅ˜๋ฅผ ๋ฐœ๊ฒฌํ•˜๊ณ  ์„ฑ์ฐฐํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ด ์šฐ์šธ์ฆ์„ ํ•ด์†Œํ•˜๋Š” ๋ฐ ๋„์›€์ด ๋˜์—ˆ๋‹ค.

โ€‹

โ€‹* reflect on : ~์„ ์„ฑ์ฐฐํ•˜๋‹ค

โ€‹* cognitive distortion : ์ธ์ง€์  ์˜ค๋ฅ˜

โ€‹* overcome one's depression : ์šฐ์šธ์ฆ์„ ๊ทน๋ณตํ•˜๋‹ค

โ€‹

My current counseling is focused on discovering myself.

์ง€๊ธˆ์˜ ์ƒ๋‹ด์€ '๋‚˜'๋ฅผ ๋ฐœ๊ฒฌํ•˜๊ธฐ ์œ„ํ•œ ์ƒ๋‹ด์ด๋‹ค.

โ€‹

* be focused on : ~์— ์ง‘์ค‘ํ•˜๋‹ค

โ€‹

I don't fully understand what I like or dislike.

๋‚˜๋Š” ๋‚ด๊ฐ€ ๋ฌด์—‡์„ ์ข‹์•„ํ•˜๋Š”์ง€, ์‹ซ์–ดํ•˜๋Š”์ง€ ์ž˜ ๋ชจ๋ฅธ๋‹ค.

โ€‹

I can't differentiate between what I want and what others expect of me.

๋‚ด๊ฐ€ ๋ฐ”๋ผ๋Š” ๊ฒƒ๊ณผ ํƒ€์ธ์ด ๋‚˜์—๊ฒŒ ๋ฐ”๋ผ๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ์ž˜ ๊ตฌ๋ถ„ํ•˜์ง€ ๋ชปํ•œ๋‹ค.

โ€‹

* differentiate between : ~์„ ๊ตฌ๋ถ„ํ•˜๋‹ค, ๊ตฌ๋ณ„ํ•˜๋‹ค

โ€‹* expect of someone : ~์—๊ฒŒ ๊ธฐ๋Œ€ํ•˜๋‹ค, ๋ฐ”๋ผ๋‹ค

โ€‹

This made me try to do everything, which eventually led to burnout.

๊ทธ๋Ÿฌ๋‹ค ๋ณด๋‹ˆ ๋‹ค ์—ด์‹ฌํžˆ ํ•˜๋ ค๋‹ค๊ฐ€ ๊ฒฐ๊ตญ ๋ฒˆ์•„์›ƒ์ด ์˜ค๊ณ  ๋ง์•˜๋‹ค.

โ€‹

* lead to burnout : ๋ฒˆ์•„์›ƒ[ํ”ผ๋กœ]์ด ์˜ค๊ฒŒ ํ•˜๋‹ค

โ€‹

Through counseling, I am learning to see myself properly and love myself as I am.

์ƒ๋‹ด์„ ํ†ตํ•ด '๋‚˜'๋ฅผ ์ œ๋Œ€๋กœ ๋“ค์—ฌ๋‹ค๋ณด๊ณ , ๋‚˜ ์ž์‹ ์„ ์žˆ๋Š” ๊ทธ๋Œ€๋กœ ์‚ฌ๋ž‘ํ•˜๋Š” ๋ฒ•์„ ๋ฐฐ์šฐ๊ณ  ์žˆ๋‹ค.

โ€‹

* love oneself as one is : ์ž์‹ ์„ ์žˆ๋Š” ๊ทธ๋Œ€๋กœ ์‚ฌ๋ž‘ํ•˜๋‹ค

โ€‹

โ€‹

Dialogue Practice

A : You mentioned that you've received personal counseling, right?

๊ฐœ์ธ ์ƒ๋‹ด์„ ๋ฐ›์•„๋ณด์…จ๋‹ค๊ณ  ํ–ˆ์ฃ ?

โ€‹

โ€‹* receive personal counseling : ๊ฐœ์ธ ์ƒ๋‹ด์„ ๋ฐ›๋‹ค

โ€‹

B : Yes, it has really helped me better understand my personality.

๋„ค, ์ œ ์„ฑํ–ฅ์„ ํŒŒ์•…ํ•˜๋Š” ๋ฐ ํฐ ๋„์›€์ด ๋˜์—ˆ์–ด์š”.

โ€‹

โ€‹* help someone better understand : ~๊ฐ€ ๋” ์ž˜ ์ดํ•ดํ•˜๋„๋ก ๋•๋‹ค

โ€‹

A : In what way was it so helpful?

์–ด๋–ค ๋ฉด์—์„œ ๊ทธ๋ ‡๊ฒŒ ๋„์›€์ด ๋˜์—ˆ๋‚˜์š”?

โ€‹

B : It made me realize that I crave attention and affection from others.

์ œ๊ฐ€ ํƒ€์ธ์˜ ๊ด€์‹ฌ๊ณผ ์‚ฌ๋ž‘์„ ๋งŽ์ด ๋ฐ”๋ž€๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ์•Œ๊ฒŒ ๋˜์—ˆ์–ด์š”.

โ€‹

* make someone realize : ~๊ฐ€ ๊นจ๋‹ซ๊ฒŒ ํ•˜๋‹ค

โ€‹* crave attention : ๊ด€์‹ฌ์„ ๋ฐ”๋ผ๋‹ค

โ€‹

A : Oh, I see.

์•„, ๊ทธ๋ ‡๊ตฐ์š”.

โ€‹

B : I also discovered that I enjoy speaking and expressing myself.

๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ์ œ ์ž์‹ ์˜ ์ƒ๊ฐ์„ ๋งํ•˜๊ณ  ํ‘œํ˜„ํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ์ข‹์•„ํ•œ๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ๋„ ์•Œ๊ฒŒ ๋˜์—ˆ์–ด์š”.

โ€‹

โ€‹* express oneself : ์ž์‹ ์„ ํ‘œํ˜„ํ•˜๋‹ค

โ€‹

๊ท€ํŠธ์˜ 25.05.02 Warning Signs of Gaslighting in Relationships ์ธ๊ฐ„๊ด€๊ณ„์—์„œ ๊ฐ€์Šค๋ผ์ดํŒ…์˜ ๊ฒฝ๊ณ  ์‹ ํ˜ธ๋“ค 

Gaslighting in romantic relationships can severely damage one's self-confidence by causing victims to question their own judgment.

์—ฐ์ธ ์‚ฌ์ด์˜ ๊ฐ€์Šค๋ผ์ดํŒ…์€ ํ”ผํ•ด์ž๊ฐ€ ์ž์‹ ์˜ ํŒ๋‹จ๋ ฅ์„ ์˜์‹ฌํ•˜๊ฒŒ ํ•˜์—ฌ ์ž์‹ ๊ฐ์„ ์‹ฌ๊ฐํ•˜๊ฒŒ ํ›ผ์†ํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋‹ค.

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* gaslighting in romantic relationships : ์—ฐ์ธ ์‚ฌ์ด์˜ ๊ฐ€์Šค๋ผ์ดํŒ…

* damage one's self-confidence : ์ž์‹ ๊ฐ์„ ํ›ผ์†ํ•˜๋‹ค

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This manipulative behavior typically begins subtly, alternating with affectionate gestures that create confusion, according to leading psychologist Vanessa Kennedy.

์„ ๋„์ ์ธ ์‹ฌ๋ฆฌํ•™์ž ๋ฐ”๋„ค์‚ฌ ์ผ€๋„ค๋””๋Š” ์ด์ฒ˜๋Ÿผ ์ƒ๋Œ€๋ฐฉ์„ ์กฐ์ข…ํ•˜๋ ค๋Š” ํ–‰๋™์€ ์ฃผ๋กœ ๋ˆˆ์— ๋„์ง€ ์•Š๊ฒŒ ์‹œ์ž‘๋˜๋ฉฐ, ๋‹ค์ •ํ•œ ์ œ์Šค์ฒ˜์™€ ๋ฒˆ๊ฐˆ์•„ ๋‚˜ํƒ€๋‚˜๋ฉฐ ํ˜ผ๋ž€์„ ์œ ๋ฐœํ•œ๋‹ค๊ณ  ์„ค๋ช…ํ•œ๋‹ค.

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* manipulative behavior : ์กฐ์ข…ํ•˜๋ ค๋Š” ํ–‰๋™

* affectionate gestures : ๋‹ค์ •ํ•œ ์ œ์Šค์ฒ˜

* create confusion : ํ˜ผ๋ž€์„ ์œ ๋ฐœํ•œ๋‹ค

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Early warning phrases include "I was trying to help you" after making hurtful comments, which disguises criticism as care.

์ƒ์ฒ˜๋ฅผ ์ฃผ๋Š” ๋ง์„ ํ•œ ํ›„ "๋„ ๋„์™€์ฃผ๋ ค๊ณ  ํ–ˆ๋˜ ๊ฑฐ์•ผ"๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ•˜๋ฉฐ ๋น„ํŒ์„ ๋งˆ์น˜ ๋ฐฐ๋ ค์ธ ๊ฒƒ์ฒ˜๋Ÿผ ํฌ์žฅํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ์ดˆ๊ธฐ ๊ฒฝ๊ณ  ์‹ ํ˜ธ๋กœ ๊ผฝ์„ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋‹ค.

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* making hurtful comments : ์ƒ์ฒ˜๋ฅผ ์ฃผ๋Š” ๋ง์„ ํ•จ

* disguises criticism as care : ๋น„ํŒ์„ ๋ฐฐ๋ ค๋กœ ํฌ์žฅํ•œ๋‹ค

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Potential gaslighters also frequently use statements like "you're being sensitive" to make partners doubt their emotional responses to harmful behavior.

๋˜ํ•œ ์ž ์žฌ์ ์ธ ๊ฐ€์Šค๋ผ์ดํŒ… ๊ฐ€ํ•ด์ž๋Š” "๋„Œ ์˜ˆ๋ฏผํ•ด" ๋“ฑ์˜ ๋ง์„ ์ž์ฃผ ํ•˜๋ฉฐ ์ƒ๋Œ€๋ฐฉ์ด ์œ ํ•ดํ•œ ํ–‰๋™์— ๋Œ€ํ•œ ์ž์‹ ์˜ ๊ฐ์ • ๋ฐ˜์‘์„ ์˜์‹ฌํ•˜๊ฒŒ ๋งŒ๋“ ๋‹ค.

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* potential gaslighters : ์ž ์žฌ์ ์ธ ๊ฐ€์Šค๋ผ์ดํŒ… ๊ฐ€ํ•ด์ž

* emotional responses to harmful behavior : ์œ ํ•ดํ•œ ํ–‰๋™์— ๋Œ€ํ•œ ๊ฐ์ • ๋ฐ˜์‘

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They systematically minimize concerns when confronted to explain their actions.

์ด๋“ค์€ ์ž์‹ ์˜ ํ–‰๋™์— ๋Œ€ํ•œ ์งˆ๋ฌธ์„ ๋ฐ›์œผ๋ฉด ์ƒ๋Œ€๋ฐฉ์˜ ์šฐ๋ ค๋ฅผ ์ฒด๊ณ„์ ์œผ๋กœ ์ถ•์†Œ์‹œํ‚ค๊ธฐ๋„ ํ•œ๋‹ค.

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* systematically minimize concerns : ์šฐ๋ ค๋ฅผ ์ฒด๊ณ„์ ์œผ๋กœ ์ถ•์†Œ์‹œํ‚จ๋‹ค

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These patterns indicate that someone might currently lack the capacity for healthy partnership dynamics, especially when victims feel belittled after expressing their feelings.

์ด๋Ÿฌํ•œ ํŒจํ„ด์€ ๊ฐ€ํ•ด์ž๊ฐ€ ๊ฑด๊ฐ•ํ•œ ํŒŒํŠธ๋„ˆ ๊ด€๊ณ„๋ฅผ ์œ ์ง€ํ•  ๋Šฅ๋ ฅ์ด ๋ถ€์กฑํ•œ ์ƒํƒœ๋ผ๋Š” ์‹ ํ˜ธ์ผ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์œผ๋ฉฐ, ํŠนํžˆ ํ”ผํ•ด์ž๊ฐ€ ์ž์‹ ์˜ ๊ฐ์ •์„ ํ‘œํ˜„ํ•œ ๋’ค์—๋„ ๋ฌด์‹œ๋‹นํ•œ๋‹ค๋Š” ๋А๋‚Œ์„ ๋ฐ›์„ ๋•Œ ๊ทธ๋ ‡๋‹ค.

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* lack the capacity : ๋Šฅ๋ ฅ์ด ๋ถ€์กฑํ•˜๋‹ค

* healthy partnership dynamics : ๊ฑด๊ฐ•ํ•œ ํŒŒํŠธ๋„ˆ ๊ด€๊ณ„ ์—ญํ•™

* feel belittled : ๋ฌด์‹œ๋‹นํ•œ๋‹ค๊ณ  ๋А๋‚€๋‹ค

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Harvard professor Alison Wood Brooks offers a practical approach for healthier conflict resolution in her book about conversation.

ํ•˜๋ฒ„๋“œ๋Œ€ํ•™๊ต ์†Œ์† ์•จ๋ฆฌ์Šจ ์šฐ๋“œ ๋ธŒ๋ฃฉ์Šค ๊ต์ˆ˜๋Š” ๋Œ€ํ™” ๊ด€๋ จ ์ €์„œ์—์„œ ๋ณด๋‹ค ๊ฑด๊ฐ•ํ•œ ๊ฐˆ๋“ฑ ํ•ด์†Œ๋ฅผ ์œ„ํ•œ ์‹ค์šฉ์ ์ธ ์ ‘๊ทผ๋ฒ•์„ ์ œ์•ˆํ•œ๋‹ค.

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* healthier conflict resolution : ๋ณด๋‹ค ๊ฑด๊ฐ•ํ•œ ๊ฐˆ๋“ฑ ํ•ด์†Œ

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Effective communicators repeat what they've heard to confirm understanding, validate their partner's feelings despite disagreements, and calmly explain their perspective afterward.

ํšจ๊ณผ์ ์œผ๋กœ ์†Œํ†ตํ•˜๋Š” ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์€ ๋จผ์ € ์ƒ๋Œ€๋ฐฉ์˜ ๋ง์„ ๋ฐ˜๋ณตํ•ด ์ดํ•ด๋ฅผ ํ™•์ธํ•˜๊ณ , ์˜๊ฒฌ์ด ๋‹ค๋ฅด๋”๋ผ๋„ ์ƒ๋Œ€์˜ ๊ฐ์ •์„ ์ธ์ •ํ•˜๋ฉฐ, ์ดํ›„ ์ฐจ๋ถ„ํ•˜๊ฒŒ ์ž์‹ ์˜ ๊ด€์ ์„ ์„ค๋ช…ํ•œ๋‹ค.

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* effective communicators : ํšจ๊ณผ์ ์œผ๋กœ ์†Œํ†ตํ•˜๋Š” ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค

* confirm understanding : ์ดํ•ด๋ฅผ ํ™•์ธํ•˜๋‹ค

* validate their partner's feelings : ์ƒ๋Œ€๋ฐฉ์˜ ๊ฐ์ •์„ ์ธ์ •ํ•œ๋‹ค

* calmly explain their perspective : ์ž์‹ ์˜ ๊ด€์ ์„ ์ฐจ๋ถ„ํ•˜๊ฒŒ ์„ค๋ช…ํ•œ๋‹ค

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This method focuses on resolution rather than denial, demonstrating readiness to handle inevitable relationship miscommunications constructively.

์ด ๊ฐ™์€ ๋ฐฉ๋ฒ•์€ ๋ถ€์ธ์ด๋‚˜ ๊ฑฐ๋ถ€๊ฐ€ ์•„๋‹Œ ํ•ด๊ฒฐ์— ์ง‘์ค‘ํ•˜๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์— ๊ด€๊ณ„์—์„œ์˜ ๋ถˆ๊ฐ€ํ”ผํ•œ ์˜คํ•ด๋“ค์„ ๊ฑด์„ค์ ์œผ๋กœ ํ’€์–ด ๋‚˜๊ฐˆ ์ค€๋น„๊ฐ€ ๋˜์–ด ์žˆ์Œ์„ ๋ณด์—ฌ ์ค€๋‹ค.

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* focuses on resolution : ํ•ด๊ฒฐ์— ์ง‘์ค‘ํ•œ๋‹ค

* inevitable relationship miscommunications : ๊ด€๊ณ„์—์„œ์˜ ๋ถˆ๊ฐ€ํ”ผํ•œ ์˜คํ•ด



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